Anger is one of the six basic emotions understood through facial expressions from infancy. In what cases does this emotion, which can lead to irrational behavior, affect children? Why are some children more irritable?
Publika.az presents the study of psychologist Şehitnur Zulfikar on this topic.
Six basic emotions – happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, disgust and anger. Unlike other emotions, expressing anger out loud takes more energy. Some children live by expressing this emotion in more aggressive words according to their temperament, while some children can live silently and without expressing their anger. But every child naturally feels anger. This situation sometimes makes it difficult for parents to control.
When children feel understood, their aggressive emotions are relieved. Parents, with their understanding, acceptance and closeness, provide first aid to their children’s hurt feelings with love.
Causes of anger: Which children get angry more quickly?
Psychologist Shehitnur Zulfikar said that anger can become a difficult emotion for children as well as for adults. To manage it, first of all, you need to explore the underlying causes of anger. Those reasons can be seen in two cases:
– When their needs are not met and their desires are not satisfied.
– Behind the anger (being hungry and tired) can be an underlying physical need that can be easily overcome, and sometimes there are deeper reasons for it. Here it is necessary to understand whether the child has any emotional needs that he is deprived of. A child needs love, compassion, attention, understanding, acceptance. They expect important emotional needs to be met, such as being seen, appreciated, socialized, and cared for.
Being understood and considered are emotional needs that are lacking in children as well as in adults. Feelings that are not taken seriously show anger more clearly in children. Anger problems are more common in children with physical disabilities. Sometimes their anger can have a negative effect on him because their emotions are not understood.
Behaviors and skills such as making healthy decisions, controlling emotions and body, self-awareness, and being well-mannered depend on the brain that is not yet formed in childhood.
Aggressive attitudes should be the focus, not anger.
Every child naturally feels anger. Parents should take action when the child starts harming himself, others or others. This should be prevented when a child engages in risky and potentially dangerous misbehavior due to anger. Because as a result, those behaviors are useless for him and cruel enough to damage his health. The focus here should be on aggressive behavior rather than anger. Emotion is expressed through the body. Children’s inability to understand the signs of anger in their bodies, their inability to understand what they feel emotionally, and their inability to verbalize their feelings can cause them to exhibit aggressive behaviors. It is aggressive behavior that is considered abnormal, not anger. In order for children to understand and express themselves in a healthy way, they need to be guided properly.
What causes tantrums?
So far, we have given general information about things that can cause anger in children. Let’s take a look at the relationship between tantrum age and the brain. The lower brain is the main structure of the brain, it develops from the moment we are born. The cerebrum is a complex part of the brain that allows us to make healthier decisions until we are fully mature. It is one of the slowest developing parts of the brain. Making healthy decisions, managing emotions and the body is part of it. Behaviors and skills such as self-awareness, understanding, and correct actions depend on the child. Treating him with compassion will activate his brain and create conditions for him to calm down. A tantrum can ultimately be considered a low-brain or high-brain concept, so to speak.
What is the right way to manage anger?
Although anger usually does not last long, it can feel like an eternity for a moment, so an unpleasant emotion arises. Hiding this feeling, ignoring it, or trying to prevent it from happening doesn’t help. Regardless of age, a person cannot choose the emotions they feel, but they can choose their behavior. Children can learn to control their behavior if they are properly guided from an early age.
It is more important for a child to know what he is feeling than to know why he is feeling it:
If the child knows exactly what his feeling is, he will experience less mental confusion. For this, parents should “hold a mirror” to the child’s emotions, i.e., reflect how he feels. In this way, the child begins to understand his emotional states and calms down as he understands them.
The best approach is to limit the behavior by letting go of the emotions:
One issue is very important in this approach. The conversation should be started without touching the child’s feelings: “I know, I understand, I see that you are angry now. But this behavior you are exhibiting is not a healthy, correct, appropriate action. It is appropriate to conclude the conversation with alternative suggestions such as “If you want to calm down, you can wash your hands or drink water.”
If the child exhibits behavior involving danger and risk:
For example, if a child throws stones at his sister or brother, the parent should stop the dangerous behavior by saying, “Throw it away, not your brother or sister”, then pay attention to his feelings and show the child not to do this action, to express his feelings in a different way, and to show him harmless ways to do it. At that sensitive moment, the child will show understanding and eventually adopt this approach.
#children #angry #quickly
