How to tame joy? 10 wise answers offered by philosophy, neuropsychology and Buddhism

1. Don’t annoy your life!

In the race for happiness in which we all (or almost all) participate, joy is something like a whip that keeps our life’s course in regular rhythm and helps us run further. But how to tame joy? Unfortunately, it is not as easy to buy as pleasure, nor to build permanently as happiness. Despite Freud’s belief that it is not actually part of the plan of “Creation” for people to be happy, the Tibetan Dalai Lama considers the pursuit of happiness to be the true goal of our lives. In Buddhism, there are four stages to perfect happiness, which are well-being, worldly satisfaction, spirituality and enlightenment. But there is no happiness without joy, while the opposite can be true, as the Swiss philosopher points out Alexandre Jollien: “Instead of trying to find the key to happiness, it’s safer to find modest joys in your life. The first step is to learn to live with past injuries and not create dramas from them that poison our lives. We can feel great joy even though we have many mistakes, failures and unpleasant experiences behind us.”

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2. Compliance above all else

In the book The power of joy (The power of joy) French philosopher Frédéric Lenoir sets the record straight the difference between pleasure, happiness and joy. The pleasure associated with everyday desires and their satisfaction, such as when we enjoy a good dinner, like all pleasant things, has its limits. Therefore, the author does not consider endless pleasure to be a good idea on the way to happiness. Joy, on the other hand, is described by Lenoir as an emotion deeper than pleasure and at the same time more concrete than happiness: “Joy is perfectly present, it absorbs our entire being and is accompanied by a strong energy that brings us a sense of the fullness of life.” None of us need philosophical speculation to help us understand the feeling we have in the presence of a loved one or after winning a race. But at the same time, Frédéric Lenoir calls us to “become ourselves” because only in this conscious state can our life flourish. “At the same time, it is necessary to be in harmony with your surroundings. And when everything is aligned, we can feel the perfect joy of life.” writes.

3. Joy to order?

Can we control joy, or does it escape all control? Joy is inherently free and unpredictable, is irrational and beyond conscious control. That’s why it can’t be negotiated, it just suddenly appears. However, there are a number of attitudes and behaviors that will help us set the stage for a favorable state of mind. It helps when we pay attention to the world around us and enjoy the present. Trust and openness, kindness, gratitude, a state of relaxation or joy from one’s own body also bear fruit. The most effective techniques include meditation, but also creative work that requires effort to create a work of art. Although the effort is often painful, it is also valuable, and sometimes even more valuable than the work itself, because it makes us grow.

4. The secret of happiness

All the great teachings, whether they were Buddhists, ancient philosophers, or twentieth-century psychoanalysts and scientists, agree that happiness depends more on the state of a person’s mind than on external events. That is, if it is to be permanent. More precisely, the secret of happiness lies in the ability to detach from emotions, whether positive or negative. Does it mean living without joy? There is no universal recipe for happiness: some people need more harmony and peace, while others need to fully experience their emotions. However, happiness and joy can co-exist, and nothing prevents us from simultaneously working on both: we can deeply experience joyful emotions, but consciously detach from them if they start to conflict with our psychological comfort or life goals. (For example, we don’t have to give up the joy of sports, but if it were to take up so much of our time that it would take away from our family or partner, who are perhaps more important for our stability in life, we need to change the timing a little.)

5. Reprogram your brain

Most of us tend to dwell on the bad experiences and overlook the good ones. According to a neuropsychologist Rick Hansonthe world authority on the neuroscience of happiness and joy, is to blame survival mechanism. Over millennia, our brains have developed physiological reflexes that protect us from mortal risks, creating automatisms and the associated secretion of stress hormones. While yesterday they protected our lives, today they prevent us from fully indulging in the joy of life. We watch bad news because it tickles our old reflexes, and we remember it more easily than good news. Fortunately, we can reprogram the brain through positive experiences and using simple mental gymnastics to strengthen neural connections that will help us experience joy and well-being. Studies comparing the psychological state of individuals who have experienced a major triumph in life, such as a lottery win, or, on the other hand, despair after a serious injury, testify to the functioning of the neurological mechanism. And they found that the initial feeling, whether elation or depression, eventually settled down to the usual level of happiness of the individuals examined.

6. The great law of small things

With the help of modern neuropsychology, we can overcome the ancient heritage of reptilian and caveman instincts and gradually accustom our brain to joy, inner strength and happiness. Rick Hanson in his book Just One Thing (Just One Thing) offers a promising solution in the form of simple practices. “One thing is enough to transform the brain step by step and improve our lives.” explains. For example, you can remember before going to bed at night 5 things that made you happy during the day. Or try one of Hanson’s methods based on a mental routine that will help you go straight to joy (you can find it below in the yellow box Joy Step by Step).

7. Positive attitude = healthy

In addition to bringing meaning and fulfillment to our lives, joy and happiness are also an invaluable source of health. Already Voltaire stated: “I choose to be happy because it’s good for my health.” And likewise, numerous scientific studies have shown the essential contribution of positive emotions to good health. Happy individuals usually live longer because, among other things, they show significantly lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which is responsible for better stress management, a reduced risk of heart attacks and other cardiovascular diseases. A positive mood also increases the body’s immunity, reduces the tendency to addictive behavior, the body is more resistant to inflammation, depression or various types of anxiety. Joyful people also generally have a healthier attitude when it comes to nutrition, lifestyle, and physical exercise, all of which clearly contribute to better health.

8. Make time for life

Practicing a slow or rather conscious way of experiencing goes hand in hand with a more joyful and contented way of life. But you don’t simply switch from one day to the next. Slowing down initially requires a certain amount of control, and the most difficult thing is to change the usual concept of time. In our culture, the time invested must be profitable, that is, to get to the best result as quickly as possible. Movement Slow Life, which was created in the 1980s as a reaction to the general acceleration, however, considers the quality of experience to be primary. He suggests we slow down and take time to live. It is a true philosophy of life that consists of living consciously and well grounded in the present moment. Today, the trend is expanding into many areas: in addition to the well-known slow food, we are also talking about slow travel, management, cosmetics, school or even sex. What are the principles? Slowing down, savoring the present, developing creativity, taking time for yourself and listening to your body, attending to others and seeking connection with nature whenever possible.

9. Joy according to the Buddha

At first glance, it sounds quite simple: Being happy represents according to Buddhist teachings not to be unhappy, which means first to stop suffering. But how to do that? Buddhist techniques lead us to freedom and free us from the trap of our ego, eternal dissatisfaction and attachments of all kinds. This encounter with the unencumbered perspective of our own view teaches us to fight hatred, judgment, depression, anxiety, jealousy, or just plain bad mood. It helps to navigate challenging life obstacles and permanently maintain your source of inner happiness and joy. In Buddhism, the principle of causation is considered the fundamental source of events, which, by the way, also represents the principle of the proverbial karma. We must therefore reckon with this inevitable law when dealing with reality. This means that if we do not wish for certain situations to arise, the best method is to prevent their causes. Similarly, when we want a specific event or state to occur, then it is logical to look for conditions that lead to the desired goal.

10. Why do we like to rejoice?

Why are we naturally drawn to joy? Spinoza he explains that it is about personal development towards perfection. Every time we grow internally, be it in the area of ​​body, heart or mind, we feel joy. A person subconsciously seeks this emotion because it is a sign of his progress. Joy is thus a manifestation of love for life and a signal that we are doing well. According to Spinoza, reason can help us orient our desire to things that are truly good for us, and not to those that complicate our joy and happiness. So the main obstacle to joy is the wrong orientation of our desire. So redirecting it to the right people and events leads us to active joy, which can grow into a more lasting feeling of happiness. “Look for your path and create your own recipe for happiness. Instead of old beliefs and the image that others have created for you, discover your true nature.” And that is Spinoza’s guide to cultivating joy.

Joy Step by Step by Rick Hanson

Method “Impress on the mind what is good” presents the 5 stages of a mental routine that can work wonders. It won’t cost you more than 2 minutes.

1. Activate

Focus on a positive experience that is already present within you, whether it is a physical pleasure, a task accomplished, or a sense of closeness with someone else. You can also think of events that make you grateful, such as a friend who helped you. Try to turn these thoughts into emotionally powerful experiences.

2. Strengthen

Extend the positive emotion for 5-10 seconds or more. Try to feel it throughout your body, let it fill your mind and body to the tips of your fingers, and hold the experience for a while until the sensations intensify. Realize at the same time what makes her important and beautiful to you.

3. Absorb

Allow the experience to sink in until it settles in your mind. You can imagine, for example, gold dust permeating you. Realize that this experience becomes a part of you and an inner wealth that you can take with you everywhere.

4. Connect

While maintaining a clear and stable sense of positive experience in the forefront of your consciousness, simultaneously become aware of the negative background. This last step will help you pull out the weeds and plant the flowers.

5. Imagine

Try to visually fix all the stages. You can also practice an inner smile, which energizes our brain and helps us walk through life with full joy.

The article was published in the journal Moje psychologie 7/2020.