Two months before the end, in May 2023, when the clock showed 8:30, Antonia Lobos Rivera (13), an eighth grade student at the Gerónimo Rendic School in La Serena, in Coquimbo, maneuvered her wheelchair to enter the your classroom. Two years had already passed since the accident that confined her to the chair, but the mockery of some classmates still resonated with the same cruelty as every day: “Look, the lame one has arrived.”
–Did she tell you about the teasing?
–I told him that we should close the year, that enough was enough and that he didn’t have to expose himself –reveals Antonia’s mother, Marcela Rivera (52), with a trembling voice. And she adds:
–But she answered me: “No, mom, I want to go, I want to make a difference. Here at school, no one rides in a wheelchair or uses crutches. Those who have a disability prefer to stay at home, but I am not going to hide. Why should I leave school if all my friends are here?”
Two years ago, when Antonia was in sixth grade, she broke her knee playing ball at school and needed crutches for several months. Until that moment, she had led a very active life: she maintained an average grade of 7 in physical education and enjoyed playing soccer with the Colo-Colo shirt, practicing basketball or riding Revuelco, her father’s horse.
—He could no longer run and, little by little, he was left out of all the games; They no longer invited her anywhere because she had to walk with crutches. –remember, Marcela–. She told me: “Mom, all I want is to play ball.” I assured her that we were going to get ahead, that as soon as she was ready I would sign her up for whatever team she wanted, but things didn’t go as we expected.
As the months passed, Antonia’s condition deteriorated and the injuries became more recurrent. Her teachers told her: “Again, Antonia? Another injury? Now, cut it, until when with the same thing? Tired, Antonia came home and complained to her mother: “Why do the teachers make fun of me? “I’m sick of this.”
Three times a week Antonia went to the kinesiologist, but the pain kept her from sleeping at night. In an effort to reduce her pain, doctors decided to apply injections to both knees. Then, after a period of treatments and uncertainty, in March 2021, specialists diagnosed her with Hoffitis, a severe inflammation of the patella tendon, which gradually left her in a wheelchair.
—I was there when they were bothering her. I told her: “Anto, you don’t have to fish…”, but she acted strong, she even laughed at her own situation with those who bothered her to make it seem like she didn’t care, so it was difficult to defend her. Some of her friends even recorded her walking in a wheelchair, laughing, according to C., 14 years old, from the same class as Antonia. At the request of her mother, her name and gender will not be identified in this article. It is the first time she has spoken about the subject, after several months of therapy, in which she was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
–Did anyone support her?
–No, only sometimes her friends. The thing is that she was no saint either; She had a lot of character. At first, those in her class called her “the lame one.” Then, the older ones, from first grade onwards, called her “the Sename girl,” because she was always injured, whether on crutches, in a cast, or in a wheelchair.
While we talk C. shows his cell phone. In it, he has seen messages from anonymous people blaming him for the death of his partner. Several school students have received these types of comments on Instagram, Facebook and even WhatsApp.
—When we found out that Antonia died, everyone blamed everyone else. But deep down we knew who were the ones who made him bullying. In reality, we all knew it, the parents, the teachers, everyone.
Antonia talked about it with her parents and they asked the school director, Claudio Rodríguez, for help, but the board required specific names to be able to act, and Antonia was not willing to reveal who was harassing her, stating: “I’m not sapa”. As a result, no concrete action was taken. This fact led to a dramatic change in Antonia, according to her friends: she began to have erratic behavior, avoided leaving the classroom and expressed her desire to “leave this world.”
–I know that some teachers approached her when Anto couldn’t do any more –continues C.–, but she didn’t want to say the names of those who bothered her, so they continued to bother her: they didn’t include her in the games and she ate alone in the classroom. lunch. I once saw her crying in the hallway, but I didn’t stop to see what was wrong with her. I think we were all afraid to help her, because they could catch her with one. That makes me guilty.
Nobody did anything
Just a month before Antonia’s death, on Thursday, June 15, her mother, Marcela, approached the course directors in charge of the head teacher, Daniel Sepúlveda. At that meeting, she implored them to take urgent measures to end the harassment of her daughter.
—My daughter was not the only one who was suffering bullying —explains Marcela—. There were more children who were also having a terrible time.
The minutes of that meeting determined that “work was going to begin on the topic of bullying, establishing and identifying actors, cases and/or situations around it to raise awareness among children. It was also reported that three cases of coexistence affecting children in the course are active, with the respective action protocol being carried out, which entails summonses, taking of statements, investigation and, in effect, resolution with support measures. sanctions or others as appropriate. Regarding the school, in the event of repetitive and serious situations towards any student, the school will consider resorting to external bodies, referring or reporting to the corresponding institutions for school abuse, including.”
One of the mothers of the class, who belonged to the council of parents of the eighth C of the school, still regrets the lack of action they had when facing the harassment suffered in the class, especially in the case of Antonia.
–Marcela was desperate, she couldn’t give it any more. She came to us asking for support for Antonia, but little and nothing was done, that is the truth. I know that no one was ever contacted nor was any intervention, investigation or discussion carried out prior to Antonia’s death.
Shortly before Antonia’s death, during a class, the eighth grade C students were discussing how and when they wanted to die. She took it seriously and said: “I want to die young.” Everyone in her class was quiet at first, but then they laughed at her.
–Today I regret it, it is that they had also made me bullying and I didn’t want them to bother me again.
L., 13 years old, knew Antonia since third grade and since her death he also began going to the psychologist to be able to accept everything. “Since I was a child they made me bullying, but Anto defended me, she was like that, she told me: ‘You should never be a victim.’ In the end, after her death, she gave me an anxiety attack and my mother changed my school.”
-You are better now?
-I am embarrased.
Ciberbullying
In March 2022, Antonia’s nightmares, stomach pains and headaches began to become more and more frequent. He felt there was no room for her at her school; To get to her living room, located on the second floor, they had to lift her on a forklift, in which she got trapped more than five times and ended up collapsing while she was on top of it. When she stopped working permanently, some of her colleagues had the task of carrying her up the stairs.
“More than helping her, everyone laughed,” remembers one of Antonia’s closest friends, J., 13 years old. Since then, a rumor began to spread that those who harassed her were going to be suspended and that she had given the names of those who harassed her. bullying…That’s what produced the rest.
Soon, Antonia began receiving threats on WhatsApp. In early 2023, the anonymous Instagram group called “Confessions,” managed by students at the school, began posting descriptions of sexual situations, accusations, insults against classmates, rumors about students, and occasionally threats.
“Antonia 8c walks carefully.”
“Antonia 8c Are we talking? Stop talking stupid.”
“Antonia 8c, stop talking weas if you didn’t want me to make you lame.”
“Antonia 8c, shut up, that’s the only stupid thing we’re going to tell you.”
The Instagram profile remained active after Antonia’s death and was closed a few months ago, after new cases of cyberbullying were repeated. The dynamic, similar to what happens in other school groups in the country, consists of students sending their confessions to the page and the group moderators are in charge of publishing them anonymously.
–One of the last things he saw in his life were the “confessions” about her –reveals Marcela.
Thursday July 13
Marcela Rivera was returning from Santiago that day, after a quick trip to collect some biopsies from her husband Juan (70), diagnosed with lymphatic cancer. When she got home, she found Antonia cutting out paper flowers in her room. “Mommy, I’m going out,” Antonia told her, as she left her bed covered in flowers.
“He left and never came back in,” Marcela remembers.
Antonia took her own life after feeding her pets on the family plot. Her mother found her lifeless next to Revuelco, her father’s horse. Until that last day, Antonia’s dream had been to become a corralera and compete in a crescent with her father.
–He didn’t leave any note, nothing. She only left her bed covered with flowers – continues Marcela.
Since Antonia’s death, grief has been mixed with desperation to understand. Many parents of the Gerónimo Rendic school contacted foundations of all kinds, including the Katy Summer organization, led by Emanuel Pacheco and Evanyely Zamorano. They also faced the tragic loss of her daughter, Katherine Winter (16), who committed suicide after months of harassment and ciberbullying at the Nido de Águilas school, in Santiago.
–Understanding serves to cushion the pain you feel, it is like a painkiller –explains Evanyely Zamorano, founder of Fundación Katy–. The parents couldn’t go to school to understand why there was so much cruelty. They told me: “Is it normal that the school doesn’t want to say anything? Is it normal that so many representatives don’t care?
–Were they able to go to school?
–No, unfortunately, the school never wanted or could not approach us. This usually happens. In situations like this, survivors like Marcela lose all kinds of routine, the family is isolated, and your child’s social circle becomes indifferent. Those who were friends question you and now criticize you: “You must have done something to make your son take his life.”
Chile leads the ranking of suicides per inhabitant on the continent and suicide is the second cause of adolescent mortality in the country. For every young person who commits suicide, 20 others have attempted it and 50 more are considering it. Even more alarming is that one in three boys or girls between 10 and 14 years old in Chile wants to end their life or harm themselves.
–Adults are not prepared to accompany these children – says Pamela Cajales, psychologist and master in Family Sciences, expert in suicide prevention and support for survivors. “Death, and even more so, suicide, is a taboo subject. It is not understood that suicide is multi-causal; It is not a single situation that leads a child to suicide, nor is there a single factor or a single circumstance,” she explains. “The important thing here is not to generalize and be alert to all aspects of children’s lives: from how they are doing at school, the relationship they have with their friends and teachers, health, self-esteem, tastes, routines. that carries”.
–What causes can lead a child to suicide?
–Desolation and feeling abandoned, with no way out. Today young people look for answers on a screen that is not affective, but aggressive, unreal and unattainable. The parents are not so much better. Many parents who have experienced the loss of a child or the attempted suicide of a child arrive in a state of shock, they reproach each other, they blame each other, some even come with a feeling of shame: “How did this happen to us? How were we not capable?”
Educational exclusion
After Antonia’s suicide, the school board started talks to talk about how the class was dealing with Antonia’s death. The closest friends were allowed to leave classes to talk to the school psychologist and were allowed to miss classes for a week. At the end of the classroom they built an altar in her memory.
“The blow was very strong for everyone,” explains Claudio Rodríguez, the school director. That’s why we hired an external company to do a complete reevaluation of our protocols and regulations.
In September 2023, two months after Antonia’s death, Colegio Gerónimo Rendic hired the services of Deso, a consulting firm specialized in school coexistence, inclusion methodologies and inclusive treatment. To date, eight sessions have been held that have involved teachers, students and parents.
—The problem was that after weeks everything was forgotten and the problem came back. bullying, as if Antonia had never died because of that —recalls M., 14 years old, sadly—. They also made me want to die, they kept making me bullying and my mother took me out of school. I ended up with nothing.
In Chile, bullying is one of the most frequent reasons for dropping out of school. According to the survey by the National Youth Institute, titled “Bullying in Educational Establishments”, 61% of young people between 15 and 29 years old, who were surveyed, declared having been intimidated or verbally abused with insults, ridicule or threats. 41% have experienced situations of exclusion, and 33% said they have been physically intimidated.
–Fighting against truancy, unschooling, social exclusion and dropping out of school is just as important as fighting against bullying in the classroom –says Paula Montes, executive director of Súmate de Hogar de Cristo, which works for the educational reintegration of children, young people and adolescents–. Even more so when the temptation to achieve recognition through fear, to become a “bacan” at gunpoint, is just around the corner. This is not stigmatizing. It is to confirm a reality, which Casen 2022 confirms: 227 thousand boys, girls and adolescents have been excluded and are deprived of their right to education, many as a result of bullying.
9 months have passed since the death of Antonia Lobos and Marcela has dedicated her life to caring for her husband from cancer, who is slowly improving. She still cannot heal: “I feel like we all failed my daughter. Now, all I want is for her to arrive in the afternoon and sleep. “Sometimes I dream of Antonia.”
