“Having your wife arrested and then escaping three times, who has ever?”, the opening words of Sung Thi So’s article (22 years old, from Tran Yen district, Yen Bai province) surprised many people. She “flexed” (shared) about the 3 times she escaped arrest of her wife, which also opened the door to becoming a lawyer for an ethnic H’Mong girl.
The article quickly attracted more than 30,000 likes, hundreds of shares and encouraging comments, thanking Sister for the inspiration.
3 times escaped arrest of his wife
Sung Thi So is the second child in a farming family of 5 sisters. The family is poor, the eldest sister quit school early to help her parents farm, giving the younger siblings the opportunity to go to school.
One time, the homeroom teacher of grade 2 came to her house to collect tuition of 70,000-120,000 VND, but her parents did not have money to pay and planned to let Sister drop out of school.
The teacher then encouraged her and told her parents: “She is very good in class. If you try to send her to school, she will definitely become a useful person in the future and bring knowledge back to her village.” “.
Overhearing the conversation from inside the house, Sister had the will to study to “escape poverty” and overcome fate. She believes that “words” can change a family, at least enough to eat.
“I just want to have food to eat, warm clothes to wear and sandals to wear when it comes to winter. I have a belief that stepping through that village gate will be a vast sky, there is knowledge to help me achieve what I want,” Sister recalls.
Thanks to her determination and struggle, Sister was one of four students in the commune who passed the boarding school exam in Tran Yen district.
In the house in Tran Yen, Sister hung many certificates of merit for 12 years of persistently searching for letters.
Even though she studies well and is full of bravery, Sister still cannot escape the custom of “wife-pulling” in the Mong community in Tran Yen district.
In 8th grade, while on a spring trip with her sister, she was dragged away by a strange boy in a neighboring village. Luckily, she escaped with the help of neighbors.
The second time, before entering 10th grade, the girl continued to be “dragged” by an unfamiliar person. She had a chance to escape when two groups of young men got into a fight.
The third “wife-pulling” happened before the high school graduation exam, almost robbing the 17-year-old girl of her future. That day, Sister was alone at home studying for exams, her parents had gone to work in the fields.
In the evening, two strange boys from another village came to invite her out. She immediately refused because she knew they were “not simple” and had asked about her the day before. When she refused, they immediately forced her, pulled her onto the motorbike, and confiscated her phone. She fell helpless, unable to struggle or protest.
On the way, Sister kept thinking about jumping out of the car. However, fearing that she would get injured and affect her high school graduation exam, the female student chose another way.
She tried to remember the distance of about 30km from the national highway to the house of the young man “pulling his wife”. She planned to wait until everyone was asleep so she could try to escape, but she soon failed.
The opportunity came on the second day when the mother sent her son to the commune to spray pesticides in the rice fields. She begged to go with her because she knew the distance to the fields near the highway would mean she could run away. She also asked for her phone back with the excuse of calling the school to check the class schedule after the quarantine due to Covid-19.
Upon arriving, Sister called her father for help, but was then forced to return to the other house. Another sleepless night passed for her.
Seeing his daughter earnestly begging, Mr. Sung A Cua (43 years old) called the “groom’s” family to persuade him to take his daughter home. Ignoring all the villagers’ advice, the father resolutely took Sister home.
“In the local area, few people dare to stand up like my parents. I am grateful for that until now,” Sister said, happy to finally be successful and free.
Having escaped arrest 3 times, Sung Thi So wanted to change her life.
“After having my wife arrested three times, I was determined to enter the law profession”
After having her wife pulled away 3 times and still not getting married, she was talked at and talked out of by many people. But the girl did not give up, remembering what her parents once said: “Life is yours, your body is given to you by your parents, but whether you will be happy or miserable in the future depends on your efforts, parents do not interfere too much.” “.
Mr. Sung A Cua knew that in his time there was no opportunity to go to school, so as a father, he wanted to encourage his daughter to try to pursue her dream.
“As long as you want, you can study as long as you want, go as far as you want, parents respect and always support you,” the father said.
Although Mr. Cua did not say it out loud, she knew that her parents had to endure a lot of gossip around them. The villagers blamed him and his wife for “not knowing how to raise their children” and criticized “what’s the point of going to school for a daughter? She won’t be able to help anything later.”
Mr. Cua and his wife’s trust is shown by never asking Sister how many points she has, what school she wants to go to, what job she will do, or who she will be in the future.
“For me, this is absolute trust, respect and support for all my decisions,” Sister said.
She has never regretted her decision to struggle to escape the custom of “wife-pulling”. Hmong girls know that “older girls marry off” is a necessity in society, but what kind of person to marry, whether they are willing to be with them or not or when they are ready to get married… that is completely a decision for each individual. People.
Sister emphasizes mutual consent and respect in marriage. She also doesn’t know if she will be happy in the future, but she has never doubted or regretted those decisions.
“This is not an impulsive decision but a journey of effort to realize the dream that I have cherished and longed for since childhood, from the bottom of my heart,” she said.
At the end of 2023, she will complete her studies at Hanoi Law University.
Not giving up, she used difficulties and humiliation as a stepping stone to move forward. In 2020, she passed Hanoi Law University with a score of 28.25, becoming the first person in the village to set foot in a university lecture hall. In the same year, she was awarded the best ethnic student award for the 2019-2020 school year.
“After having my wife arrested three times, I was determined to enter the law field. I want girls in remote areas to go to school, be respected and have the freedom to choose marriage.
Seeing many Hmong women endure, endure and suffer violence, I believe that education is the closest key to help them enter the world,” Sister said, emphasizing that she will not be able to sway anyone. If you refuse to change, refuse to learn and have no dreams.
The day she received her admission notice, she was happy because her efforts had paid off and happy because her childhood dream had come true.
Mr. Cua and his wife felt proud and happy, but their worries about food and clothing seemed to be greater than that budding pride. Sister herself was also worried about how to pay tuition fees for 4 years in Hanoi.
The Hmong girl’s energetic journey has inspired many people.
The girl from the fields reaches out to the world
Coming to Hanoi, Sung Thi So worked 3-4 additional jobs at a time from serving restaurants, cafes, and other office jobs. Every day, she wakes up at 5 a.m. to study, then goes to school, and the rest of the time she works at various jobs to have money to stay in Hanoi to continue studying.
During her 4 years as a student, Sister participated in many different activities. She is one of two Vietnamese representatives at the Asia-Pacific Conference on Child Marriage Prevention and one of 15 Southeast Asian members of the Spark Fund of the Global Children’s Fund.
Sister won first prize in a writing contest about women’s experiences; became Deputy Head of Human Resources, National member of the Youth Advisory Board of Plan International Vietnam.
In addition, she is also a delegate at conferences such as: Pioneering Youth Initiative of the United Nations Children’s Fund; United Nations youth roundtable on development.
With her efforts, the Mong girl won a German Government scholarship for poor students overcoming difficulties in 2022; to many countries such as Singapore, Nepal, Thailand – places that were previously just a dream.
At the end of 2023, she will complete her studies at Hanoi Law University. She is currently a paralegal for a law firm, and founded a personal project to promote the education of children and youth, and prevent and eliminate child marriage.
The project also strengthens legal propaganda to ethnic minority communities, especially the Mong community in Vietnam; At the same time, provide free legal advice and support based on knowledge and skills.
“To achieve my dream, I understand that I need to put in a lot of effort and mostly the cooperation of the community,” she said.
She presented at the Asia-Pacific Regional Conference on Child Marriage Prevention.
Sung Thi So is not sure if she can “help” other girls in the future, because she believes that each person needs to have awareness, desire and determination to change. Outside help and encouragement are only short-term and unsustainable catalysts.
She believes that, with her pioneering, at least girls in similar situations will never limit themselves, never take customs for granted. Many young people in the village are trying very hard to “follow the example” of Sister.
“Hmong girls, if one day you are unfortunately forced to drag your wife against your will, then have the courage to call for help,” Sister called, believing that there will be people willing to help Hmong women. , as long as they always try their best even when they are alone.
Sister also advises Mong women to “get married when they are ready”. Readiness here means initiative and freedom of choice in marriage – who will you marry, do you really want to marry that person? that or not?
The reason she said that was because she witnessed unhappy marriages, some Mong women are very hard-working, patient, and sacrifice, but not for themselves but for others.
The Mong girl knows that no journey is easy, but she hopes her story will motivate everyone: “Always persevere with your goals.”
Talk to reporters Dan tri, Mr. Chang A Vang, Secretary of Hong Ca Commune Youth Union (Tran Yen district, Yen Bai province) said that the commune has 4 villages with 100% Mong people living. The whole commune has 415 households, a total of 2,015 people are Mong people.
According to Mr. Vang, the custom of “wife-pulling” in Hong Ca commune has decreased a lot compared to a few years ago, but has not completely disappeared.
For Sung Thi So – the girl who escaped forced marriage and went to university – Mr. Vang said that Sister’s academic achievements are the pride of the commune.
“Many young people in the commune have followed her example to strive to study. People also use her as an example to advise their children and grandchildren to follow,” said Hong Ca Commune Youth Union Secretary.
