This article originally appeared on December 29, 2021.
“Why didn’t I block him? Now I probably would. At thirty-nine. And in this climate. But fifteen years ago I couldn’t do that.” In The Process That Nobody Wanted you feel how Liesa Naert still struggles with what happened. “I was 24 years old, I got the opportunity I really wanted. I was going to do everything not to ruin it.” The documentary was filmed between December 2020 and December 2021 and, now that the appeal period has expired, will be available on Streamz. Eight women involved talk about what they have experienced and how they experienced the process. “Because it would go down in history in the right way,” says actress Lize Feryn.
Lize Feryn. — © Streamz
The women have to fight against commentary and prejudice. “The past three years have been the worst of my life,” says actress Maaike Cafmeyer. Feryn: “You are exposed to so much hate. Lize, you’re disgusting. I have also received threatening letters. That’s bad, because they know your address.”
Behind closed doors
However, they did not want to come outside, they say. Actress Ella-June Henrard: “We wanted to settle it behind closed doors. It would have been much better and easier if he had said: I admit and I am sorry. I disappear from the radar for a year or two. But because of his video it has become a circus that never ends.”
Cafmeyer, who was the first to go to the VRT confidential counselor, explains how difficult that was. “The VRT put me and Bart together for a brainstorming session. He started again: Do you watch porn, Maaike? I thought: What the fuck, are you starting again? I couldn’t forgive myself for not saying anything to Ella-June Henrard (when I heard her crying on a set shortly before, ed). Then I decided: Now I’ll tell you. But that hurt. He had installed so loudly that we had better remain silent.”
Maaike Cafmeyer. — © Streamz
Ex-husband called
They call the process very difficult. “I hesitated about going,” says Henrard. “But I thought it would be strong to go.” Ellen Lloyd, dresser in 2014: “If we didn’t go, we would look weak. It was necessary for many to be present.” Henrard calls the second day of the trial “the worst of my life”. “In the evening I called my partner: Come get me.”
The defense did everything it could to portray the women as false and unreliable. Cafmeyer: “You have to let yourself be cut into pieces. He turned me into someone who betrays friends. Even though we never had a real friendship. He’s never even been to my house. We had a secret, which is different from friendship.” That secret was never a long-term relationship, she emphasizes. A kind of platonic relationship, in which things did happen, but it was so strange that she eventually told her lover. “I couldn’t hold it anymore. I said to Bart: I told him, it’s the end of the story. But that’s not so bad, is it? You can fall in love, let’s talk about that. But he didn’t want that.” She also testifies in the documentary about the methods of the defense. “His lawyer called my ex-husband in search of ‘ugly’ material. After a difficult divorce, I had not seen them for seventeen years. He was urged to remain silent, but he sent me a message: I wanted you to know that.”
Actress Liesa Naert. — © Streamz.
Dependent position
They all talk about how difficult the dependent position they were in was. “Bart literally said: Never bite the hand that feeds you,” says Naert. Feryn: “If your neighbor sends dick pics, you indeed block them. But with Bart De Pauw you don’t say: I don’t care about a strange message. You have to set your limits, but you can’t block everything. I didn’t immediately say: Fuck you, you stupid bastard. That’s true, and that’s something I feel bad about.” Helena De Craemer, intern in 2017: “They asked me: Why did you send so much back? But you forgive a soul in love. Plus, I still had to work with him. I did everything to push it towards friendship.”
Dymphne Poppe, intern in 2014. — © Streamz
Several women testify about how bad they often still feel because they sometimes went along with De Pauw’s advances. “I have done things that I still find difficult,” says Dymphne Poppe, an intern in 2014. “I didn’t say ‘no’. But you are sucked into someone’s power, someone who knows which buttons to push.” Naert: “He unexpectedly showed up at my door. He said: You’re not going to let me drive all the way to Lier without a kiss, are you? I thought: Whatever, then he’s gone. I can now be gentler with myself, because I recognize the mechanisms. But processing remains a work in progress, very painful.”
No more dressing femininely
They are happy that he has been convicted. Although there are mixed feelings. Els Talloen, an intern in 2008, is one of the five women against whom the judge considers harassment proven. “I’ve often thought: What have I done to make him act like this? The verdict provides relief. And recognition. No, it wasn’t my fault.” Cafmeyer is also positive, although the judge did not consider the facts against her proven. “It clearly says that our story is true,” she says. “Unfortunately, the justice system has no answer to the gray zone. That’s too bad. How can a young woman like Helena reject her boss?”
Els Talloen, intern in 2008. — © Streamz
They all hope it will lead somewhere. “I have often thought: If only I had remained silent,” says Naert. “But no, because then he continues.” Feryn: “I received a message from a father of four daughters to say that he is grateful. That’s why you do it.” Cafmeyer: “You don’t do it for the shit throwers, but for the people in the same shit.”
Lasting impact
Yet it will have a lasting impact, Henrard thinks. “It has marked me in who I am as a woman and an actress. You will never see me dressed femininely on a set again.” Naert: “He took a lot from my life.” Do they expect anything from Bart De Pauw? Els Talloen: “He can still apologize. It’s never too late.” Feryn: “If he still does that, he can still turn his role around.”
Actrice Ella-June Henrard. — © Streamz.
