Entering a sanctuary requires respect, even when conditions along the way are unfavorable.
The storm that had been threatening for some time had finally broken through, and due to the driving rain we could not see a meter in front of us. The access path was flooded, but Jean knew where it was still somewhat passable: “We won’t get there without wet feet,” he laughed. I followed my guide.
At the back of Jean’s garden is the house where he can withdraw from the world when necessary. There he makes graphic art, uses his printing press, paints, listens to the birds and the friends he receives. That evening I came to ask him for advice.
When we reached the house, it took Jean some effort to open the door. In the cozy room he offered me one of his two chairs, the most comfortable one. He opened a bottle of red wine that, together with the fire in the stove, would keep us warm for the rest of the evening.
Having a place for yourself, ‘A Room of One’s Own’ as Virginia Woolf called it, can play a healing role in a life. Even in the humble form of a wooden house at the back of a garden, it is therefore a sanctuary.
* * *
At the other end of the architectural spectrum are imposing sanctuaries such as Seville Cathedral, the largest Gothic church building in the world. Originally a mosque with the highest minaret of its time, later ‘renamed’ into a church tower.
Entering a sanctuary requires respect, even if it is a church with a troubled past. But I must admit that I had a hard time with that in the Cathedral of Seville, which is filled to the brim with dubious New World riches. The gold and silver were mined from the earth by the original population forced into slavery, and millions died in the process. The cathedral also contains the impressive grave monument of Christopher Columbus, the man who discovered the route for the raids to America. The tombs of clients who sent the caravels across the ocean can also be seen. On the walls hang portraits of cardinals and archbishops who sought to expand their faith in Latin America. Not a conducive place for inner peace, I thought.
* * *
And yet I was able to experience something special in the cathedral, a correction in the spirit, as it were, a ‘miracle’.
Because the floor plan of the cathedral with its numerous outbuildings became too complicated for me, I wandered haphazardly through the corridors and prayer rooms, and quickly lost my way. The cathedral is so immense that there are eighty side chapels for separate mass celebrations.
Completely unexpectedly, in the ‘side chapel of a side chapel’ I discovered a courtyard from the time of the mosque, with a central fountain and a geometric tiled floor. Through the open door on the other side I entered a small room that surprised me because there was nothing to see in it, no decorations, no gold or silver, no paintings, statues or candlesticks, just snow-white walls and a small window above through which a ray of light shined. came in. An interior and an atmosphere that I recognized from the meditation room in a Zen monastery. The cathedral had unexpectedly emerged as a sanctuary.
I was lucky enough to be there alone for a while, just with myself. Until a visitor entered, a young priest. I asked him some explanation about this place that was so strikingly different. He didn’t understand me well, then walked me to the white wall and showed me hooks where paintings normally hang. The cloths were now gone for a while, he explained.
The white room, a place for myself, not for very long, but long enough.
* * *
As there are
Apartments in our
own Minds that –
we never enter without Apology –
we should respect
the seals of
others –
[Omdat er Appartementen in onze eigen Geesten bestaan die – we nooit zonder Verontschuldiging binnentreden – moeten we de zegels van anderen respecteren -]
Emily Dickinson (1830-1886); uit: ‘Envelope Poems’ (2013)
* * *
Where we can find inner peace should therefore not be a construction of wood or stone, it can also be on a walking path, or thanks to the comforting page in a book, or a melody that carries us away, or with a friend.
It can be done anywhere where we can recognize our original self – without the masks – in a mirror. Therefore not in a place outside ourselves, but also when respectfully entering the sanctuary that Emily Dickinson so beautifully calls the ‘Apartment in our own Mind’. Because the ‘place for yourself’ is ultimately you.
Good luck and see you soon
Your faithful servant