Wolver: An obsolete custom of taking money in exchange for the marriage of a sister or daughter

When the tea was ready, Bibi Salima’s mother-in-law said, ‘Your family took the money but did not put a cloth to carry the kettle in the luggage, so take it hot now.’

Bibi Saleema often faced such taunts from her in-laws, as the family took money in the name of ‘bride’ for her marriage.

She belongs to Manzaki area of ​​Pishin district of Balochistan, who got married 15 years ago.

Every moment of Salima’s life is spent in agony. Every time they wake up, they get the same taunt that their family took more money but sent less household goods. Even if they wanted to, they could not complain because their parents had received huge sums of money from their in-laws through Vellore.

This is not only Salima’s story, but hundreds of girls whose lives are traded in the name of marriage in the Pashtun society.

What is a widow?

Valor is a Pashto word, which means to take money for the marriage of one’s sister or daughter.

This custom is not very ancient, but scholars believe that this custom was introduced in the Pashtun society after the introduction of currency system and then became stronger.

Before currency came, commodities were exchanged for commodities. Dowry money is basically charged for two things. Crazy and happy.

Kaddar refers to household items, which are given by parents to their daughter on the occasion of marriage. It includes everything from clothes to utensils. (Nowadays appliances like refrigerator, TV and washing machine are also part of the same category)

The word khushay is used for the food, which is prepared for the people attending the ceremony on the occasion of marriage.

Nothing can be said about formal trust, however, it is assumed that before currency, when sex was traded for sex, the girl’s family kept kaddar (household goods) on the boy’s for pleasure (food and drink). Boys used to take grains etc. from the people, but when currency came, its shape and form changed and cash was given to the girl’s parents.

Attempt to eliminate this ritual

Musa Kaleem is a resident of Islamabad and the soul of a social organization called ‘United Compassionate Youth’, which is struggling to end this practice.

Musa realized the disadvantages of this ritual during the relationship of a girl in his family.

He said: ‘One of my relative’s sons used to work hard in Turkey. In the meantime, their marriage was arranged here in Pakistan, while an amount of Rs 11 lakh was allocated for the bridegroom and the boy was told to collect the money now so that he could get married.’

He said that he spent five to seven years and paid off the money from his earnings. According to Musa: ‘The situation worsened when the boy did not even have money to get married.’

‘After that the young man started working hard here and after a year of earning he was able to get married and meet the expenses.’

This is the reason why they know the defects of this ritual and understand that this ritual has an important role in the backwardness of the Pashtun society.

According to Musa: “According to an estimate, this ritual is five thousand years old, which may not be easy to end, but it is not impossible either.”

He said that this is a wrong ritual, which is also considered bad by the people of Pashtun society, but still continues it.

Musa said that in this, people take up to 2 million rupees in exchange for their daughter and sister, to fulfill which the youth often travel abroad illegally, some of them reaching and some on the way. The seas are gone.

How much is the opposition?

The ritual of velor is ancient and has become a part of the society. Musa said that during the campaign against Wolver, his opposition also continues. These are the people who don’t want the end of it to stop them getting paid.

However, the leaders of this organization are confident of success and due to their hard work, many people have come to know the evils of this ritual.

Musa understands that there are many such customs and practices in our society, which hinder our conscious development.

While Moses is facing opposition, he is also getting success in some places. He said that ‘when we conducted an awareness campaign among the people and held a meeting in Islamabad, the leader of our nation, Maulvi Muhammad Umar, announced that he had arranged his daughter’s marriage for 12 lakh rupees, but because she Realizing the evils of this ritual, he waives this money and will marry his daughter without it, for which he also invites everyone to come. Maulvi Muhammad Umar also said that his The future sons-in-law are also forced to work in Dubai to collect money.’

Organized by this organization of Musa, meetings have been held in Lahore, Islamabad, Rawalpindi, Gujjar Khan and Jhelum regarding this ritual, where people were informed about it.

Musa said that in the meetings, we not only give awareness but also get everyone present to sign an agreement, in which they acknowledge that they are doing away with this ritual.

What is subtlety?

However, there is a very subtle point that needs to be understood here and that is that Valor is taken as Haq Mahr. If the right of the girl is recognized according to the Shariah requirements of dowry, then perhaps this ritual has advantages instead of harm, but in most cases, the right of the girl over the bridegroom is not recognized as ownership and the parents consider it their property. Due to which, due to this ugly ritual, the life of this girl becomes hell and it has reached the point that the marriage is postponed until the girl’s parents get the money.

Although this custom is gradually declining now, it is still there and the darkest aspect of it is that many people decide on this practice at the birth of a girl child, the dowry money is fixed and the boy and girl marry. Age difference is not taken into consideration.

As soon as the boys pay the bride-price, the demand for marriage begins. Now, if the daughter has been given kaddar (goods) with the money of the bridegroom and the baratis have been humbled for the good of the people, then the matter is still somewhat correct, but if the daughter is not given goods and happiness (food). If it doesn’t go well, then the daughter has to listen and bear insults from her in-laws for the rest of her life.

The ritual of velor is practiced in the entire Pashtun belt, however, the amount of velor is slightly higher in the areas bordering Afghanistan.

In general, Pashtuns have some rituals whose form and intensity are more and less in terms of tribes, but the only ritual is that of Vulwar, which has a regional status instead of tribes.

For example, in Balochistan’s Qila Abdullah district and its adjoining areas, among the Achakzai, Kakar, Tarin, Sayyid or other tribes, the dowry amount is high, usually starting from five to six lakhs and if the boy is already married. If done, the amount increases further.

Similarly, this amount is different in Pashin and Khanuzai etc. while in Muslim Bagh, Qila Saifullah and Zhob it is different.

There are some areas of Ziyarat where the money of Valor has been dead for several decades and the Shari’a right of mahr is taken, while in Sanjavi, Rigora and Poi etc. which are part of Ziyarat itself, the ritual of Valor is still common.