Why don’t men show housework?

Pieces of food are scattered all over the counter. The oil used for last night’s cooking is on top of the electric stove.

The trash needs to be taken out. The calcium layer around the dishwasher sink has started to build up again.

The cat’s feeding area is starting to look like it’s been eating on the floor instead of a bowl.

Assessing the state of the kitchen, I’m thinking we should buy more onions and garlic, use up (a broccoli-like vegetable) scallions and spinach before they go stale, order more water filters, and cat litter. The food container needs to be refilled.

With these mental notes I’m already planning on going to the stores to buy supplies and evaluating how water filters will affect our budget.

‘The kitchen needs cleaning,’ I tell my lovely, sensitive and hard-working husband. They look up from their Playstation. ‘Is that so?’ They ask with a sincere heart.

I stare at them. Can’t believe they can’t see what I’m seeing. am i crazy Or are they?

Sometimes the same thing happens with other parts of the house. They may not see that the floor needs to be swept or the toilet needs to be cleaned with acid.

It’s like there’s some kind of veil over those eyes that makes them unable to see the filth I’m almost constantly thinking about under the influence of magic.

Not that they don’t help me at all. But the tendency to ignore things that need to be done and only do things when I say so is not unique to my husband.

It is well known that women have to do housework, at least in couples with normal sexual orientation.

of 2020 Grazia A review by , found that 73 percent of women living with their partners felt that they took on more of the ‘invisible’ labor at home than their partner.

55% of these women felt that such an imbalance had a negative impact on their mental health.

Philosophers have tried to find an answer to why men do not see the situation.

He calls this the ‘need theory’ in which a need is defined as a ‘probability of action’.

Writing in the journal Philosophy and Phenomenological Research, experts from the University of Cambridge say that in the home environment, men are less likely to take many of these actions than women. This difference in thinking is called gender-induced.

“It’s not just looking at the shape and size of a tree and then assuming that you can climb it,” explains Professor Polina Silva, who worked at the University of Cambridge’s philosophy department before moving to the University of Vienna. Actually seeing a certain tree as climbable, or a cup as drinkable.

‘Neuroscience has shown that the perception of need can trigger neural processes that prepare you for physical action.

‘It can range from a simple desire to a strong compulsion but often requires a mental effort to not act out of necessity.

‘Essential tasks attract your attention. Tasks can tire the thinker until they get done or they distract from other tasks.

‘This situation can cause stress if resisted. This situation puts women in a dilemma. Be it inequality in labor or inequality in responsibility for thinking.’

This means that when I see a dirty stove top, my thoughts immediately turn to how it can be cleaned and then I feel the need to get the job done.

But when my husband sees the dirty stove top, his thinking stops there.

British Medical Journal Worldwide, women do three times as much caregiving and housework as men.

Despite the fact that everyone spent more time at home due to the lockdown during the Covid pandemic, the ‘increase and intensity of (care and household) work remained much higher for women.’

Because of how domestic work is gendered, women and girls often take on this often invisible labor after full-time work or school.

According to academics from the University of Cambridge, ‘the fallacy of understanding need based on gender’ is not about exonerating men for their laziness at home.

Being sensitive to the performance of housework does not mean that women are naturally inclined to do housework.

Dr Tom McClelland from the University’s Department of History and Philosophy of Science says ‘Men should be encouraged to resist gender norms by improving their sensitivity to domestic work.

‘For example, each time a person waits for the water to boil in the kettle, they can clean up spilled pieces of food.

‘Not only will this help them do things they don’t see, but the process will gradually retrain their thinking so that they start to feel the need for it in the future.’

In summary, men have no excuse not to contribute equally to the invisible labor.

If more men would commit to thinking about what they see at home instead of ignoring it, then we could have more egalitarian home lives and more balanced relationships. Women will be happier. In this way, everyone will be happy.

Now I will print this research and leave it somewhere my husband can see it.