When football players try to act and fail

Of course, we also know and see that every football player has the Laurence Olivier grafted into Charlie Chaplin, and for them the beautiful green lawn is a stage, and from this point of view, it doesn’t matter whether the Tótborzas football field or one of the stadiums of the European Championship serves as the rectangle representing the world. Concave is in everyone’s repertoire, the more talented are able to collapse at the slightest contact like the stormtroopers in the Star Warsin when they are shot in the head. And those who are really masters of method acting can even produce a blood-curdling death roar while falling.

Another issue is that a significant number of volunteer flag chewers get into trouble if they have to show off their acting qualities in commercials or real movies instead of on the field. Now we select from the most embarrassing, Golden Raspberry award-winning performances, without claiming to be complete.

Dominik Szoboszlai monologues

Despite all evidence to the contrary, the gods are fair: if you give someone world-class balls, a wiry frame, and a chin structure that puts superheroes to shame, that doesn’t add up to acting skills. Of course, for the attached audiovisual crime against humanity, the only world-class Hungarian soccer player should not be cited before a court of taste, but the instigators, the competent employees of Telekom. If the star of an advertisement can only say his text with such passion, why they would also be immediately disqualified from the auxiliary elementary school poetry competitionthen surely the smartest move is to write a commercial for him in which he has to monologue throughout?

The end result is truly tragic, but we are already in a better mood if we imagine that somewhere in Telekom’s safe, deeply hidden, there is a carrier with the cut recordings compared to which the Dominik monologue included in the final version was deemed worthy of publication.

David Beckham is hardening in middle age

If possible, the icon of the English, David Beckham, is even less suited to the film screen than our Szoboszla. If nothing else, Dominik at least has the organ for rap mastery, Becks in comparison he only gives the impression of an AI-engineered male god until he opens his mouth. His voice is like a mutating teenager, which could even be beneficial in a body-swapping comedy. However, Guy Ritchie, unfortunately, did not give her the role of a teenager driven to lose her virginity who suddenly finds herself in the body of a football star, but of an authentically hardened soldier.

According to the story, Arthur wants to pull the legendary Excalibur out of the stone, but he doesn’t see it, even though it’s right there in front of him. Luckily, Beckham is also on the scene, setting Charlie Hunnam’s character on the road with assorted insults. Despite the medieval costume and the Sisyphean struggle of mask masters to try to disfigure his face, Beckham’s “figure” does not fall off the screen only for those viewers who have no idea who Beckham is. Ritchie later defended the football star’s embarrassing production at a press conference, using the adjective “fantastic”. Such a true friend!

When Rooney got scared by a wine bottle

Even though Manchester United has been cooling in the shadow of its former glory for more than a decade, it is still considered one of the most valuable clubs in the world, thanks to the world-class performance of its sales and marketing departments. They are able to sell the red devil crest anywhere, whether it’s goat cheese from the Canary Islands, koton from Qatar or a Japanese tractor – the latter is no joke anyway. At one time, the Chilean wine brand Casillero del Diablo was also among their customers, and of course a large-scale and very confusing commercial film was made to celebrate this. According to the ‘story’, the club’s three stars, Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs and Patrice Evra, are hanging out in one of the stadium’s cigar rooms (suitably dressed in jackets and short-sleeved white shirts) when suddenly the ominous music starts to play. Staring out the window, Rooney announces in a deadpan voice, “Guys, there’s a little problem. The Boss said that the new devil is coming.” Giggs asks “Is he famous?”, to which Evra replies: “He’s known all over the world.”

Dramatic tension at this point it’s more unbearable than the finale of a Shyamalan movie, and then Casillero del Diablo, literally coming like a comet, crashes into one of the gates of Old Trafford. Rooney, compared to whom Dominik Szoboszlai is also a generational talent of Daniel Day-Lewis caliber, reacts to this horror drama by stroking his chin while his face is painted red by the light of the flame. (The creators of the advertisement should only be asked the small thing, besides why Rooney was given the most text, why the players will bar code their underpants from the arrival of the new devil, if it will strengthen United.)

Ronaldo’s stupid dance

There is the money that makes even Cristiano Ronaldo’s hair fall out, or at least he is willing to make a fool of himself in public. It is a decades-old tradition that Hollywood stars go to Asia (but mostly to Japan) to do advertising hacks, where they clown around in front of the camera in exchange for a merciless amount of money. Therefore, Ronaldo could have easily referred to the fact that he is only nurturing an old tradition when he became the brand ambassador of Shopee, a shopping application with a Singaporean background, and in this capacity took on a role in the company’s commercial film.

Even for the visual realization of the scene, the crew would receive a Golden Raspberry each – A different green background technique is used in the Csajágaröcsöge district TV program -, but the absolute lowest point is when our hero dances with a “what the hell am I looking for here?” type forced grin on his face, pressing the mobile phone. And then at the end, he says the slogan in a mechanical voice, as if in the middle of it he would also be casting for the title role in the Portuguese remake of Terminator 2.

Zlatan, the warlord

Of course, we wouldn’t dare to make such a bold statement that Zlatan Ibrahimović doesn’t have a big movie career ahead of him, because if Eric Cantona, blessed with a similarly monumental ego, managed to get from minor supporting roles to the main role in a Ken Loach film or a Netflix series, then even Ibra can succeed in stunt. If only because has been methodically pushing the role of the Chuck Norris of the football world for decades with such adorable arrogance that even Teacher Havas is on his knees begging for the recipe. At the same time, he has been able to transfer his charisma to the cinema screen with only moderate success so far.

Being a rookie, he was able to debut with a pretty serious role, that is Asterix and Obelix: The Middle Kingdomin he plays the Roman centurion called Antivirus, and as long as he has to fear the opponent and pose triumphantly, he doesn’t even show any shame, only then they put a few lines of French dialogue in his mouth, which he can only deliver with such enthusiasm, like speaking at a press conference after a losing game. Despite this, we really don’t want to end Zlatan’s career prematurely, a director of Guy Ritchie’s caliber would certainly be able to make a Vinnie Jones award-winning performance out of him.

+ 1 – Messi washes his face in Japanese

The best soccer player in the world also had a bit of trouble in Asia, but he didn’t embarrass himself as much as Ronaldo. Instead of dancing, he just washes his face with some face wash that looks like shaving cream, while a male voice shouts Messi’s name (!), and at the end, the main character also speaks in Japanese.