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Since Chile became a republic, it has had Dutch cow udders. Sometimes overflowing, other times less generous in times of drought, unable to give a baby a drink. Since always, there have been insatiable suckers, who almost empty them, whose lactating thirst makes them suck with all four hands. Like the udder of the state, it allows itself to be sucked from time to time, and by a miracle it does not dry out, it invites libation. Udder, called tit by those who know the subject, is reminiscent of the creation of the Milky Way. Celestial phenomenon that, when observed at night, produces indescribable pleasure. Let’s return to the rosy udders of the state, where suckling babies of all stripes, from long-legged to social climbers, compete for the four teats. Now and always.
The biggest blowjob with two hands and four cheeks in memory happened during the Pinochet dictatorship. Time, when all outrages against the people and resources of the State were classified as lawful. Festival, including confetti and streamers, which lasted 17 years and continues to this day, with nuances, so as not to cause a scandal. During the dictatorship, it constituted looting, robbery or plunder, although certain scholars on the subject, as a way of embellishing the adjective, said that it had been liveliness. Oral or written language knows how to adapt the terms and give them the intensities of the case.
Historic blowjobs, with or without a bib and under the full moon, are reserved for the spoiled. Being scandalized by such advantages does not contribute to resolving the issue. Rather, it is typical of our republican and Creole idiosyncrasy. Tradition that turns Chile into the horn of plenty. You will state that each Dutch cow, even if it is born in Chile, provides around 15 liters of milk per milking. However, there are many available, to be sucked in unison. An army of cows heading to the stable, while mooing, with their bell around their neck. That bells are used in the National Congress means nothing. It is just a coincidence and it is not my intention to link certain politicians in this dairy story. It has never been my purpose to damage anyone’s reputation, even though the word reputation sounds like an ancient profession. Let’s not forget that bells have multiple uses and have managed to survive time.
There are also blowjobs that are performed in public, and they are the most popular. And of course, shameless. Let’s look at the issue in light of the latest blowjobs. In certain municipalities, with the support of the mayor’s office, carnivals are organized, where confetti and streamers are thrown and each participant receives a stuffed animal as a gift. Or those boisterous bugles, whose shrillness is reminiscent of the bugle calling for the assault. Others, where a certain civility prevails, since good customs are privileged. All this grotesque showbiz is carried out secretly, protected by shadows, and instead of sucking, half-office envelopes are distributed. They certainly do not contain love obituaries, clandestine appointments or judicial collections. Even less, invitations to dinner at restaurant X, where any menu is worth a whopping $115,000. A certain delicacy must prevail, subject to civility, in a social sector where ordinariness is banished.
In this chronicle, I will not refer to those blowjobs protected by law. You enter swampy terrain and I have no desire to get stuck in the mud. The fragile freedom of expression guarantees nothing. Yes, we must remain alert, in case someone offers us a Dutch cow with two udders and eight teats, to have fresh milk daily, without having to buy it. As babies, we learn to breastfeed and some never forget their time as infants.
By Walter Garib