Resignifying sexuality | The Century of Torreón

Sexuality is a topic that, in certain contexts, is taboo. This can lead to an individual not reaching their fullness or fulfillment as a person. Hence, some aspects related to sexuality must be rethought, so that one can live completely and always responsibly.

Alejandro Salas Aguilera, a psychotherapist specialized in family and couples therapy, believes that the first thing to do is to claim the right to pleasure, always based on maturity and respect for oneself and others.

“It is about learning to live without guilt, without fear, without limitations, but with an ethical framework, without transgressing others. All this, being already older, regardless of the age and condition of the person”, dice.

It also calls for see sexuality more broadly, not just as a genital activitybut it is related “at every moment, like a caress, a landscape, a flavor”, plus it has benefits for the body.

Some advices

The first is to leave devices and social networks, to give yourself the opportunity to be in a more intimate space with people, since you consider that this can affect the development of good communication when sharing time with a person.

Moderate expectations: it happens that there are young people, although they are not the only ones, who tend to imagine that sexuality is something different, and when they encounter reality they feel disappointment. It is not uncommon for pleasure to be discovered over time.

La Gaceta UNAM provides another point: assertive sexual communication. In his article “Assertive sexual communication, beneficial for couples“, they define it as “a process of exchanging ideas and opinions between two people, but it must be done directly, honestly, appropriately and respecting the rights of those who communicate”. This allows “facilitate the negotiation process” in different aspects, ranging from what you like or don’t like, setting limits or the protection methods you want or don’t want to use.

Have moderation, respect opinions

Sexuality is something inherent to human beings, even though it is sometimes not easy to address due to the space or age of the interlocutors. There is even a belief that talking about it with young people is a way to encourage them to have sexual relations. But the specialist believes that the opposite happens, since knowing all the implications, as long as it is based on scientific information, usually delays the start of sexual life.

So, when is it appropriate to talk to children or young people about sexuality? The specialist considers that this It should be done according to the questions that the children ask, considering whether it is necessary to give more information than requested or not.

“It is also very important to be honest with yourself and recognize how much we know about certain topics. Thus, when necessary, we can go to a specialist for advice”, explains the professional.

Likewise, he sees that there are different points of view about what other parents think about when these types of topics are going to be addressed in the classrooms.

In this sense, the discussion generated by the most recent textbooks is well known. Salas sees understanding as necessary, seeing at the same time the need to raise awareness without imposing one’s own point of view.

With adolescents, on the other hand, he considers that one must be very careful with the language used, since for some what is forbidden is attractive.

“It requires openness, naturalness, and again knowing how much we know about a topic. Because lack of knowledge can affect understanding. Teachers must also be informed, while knowing the contexts of their institutions and the families of their students.”.

Among the issues that should be addressed with them is protection, both to avoid diseases or unwanted pregnancies, the distinction between reality and fiction, respect for others and the practice of masturbation as something healthy and normal.which should not entail any feeling of guilt, especially given the excess of false information that abounds on social networks.

“You must always keep in mind that masturbation is a safe practice. At the same time, it is the best way to discover what we like and how we can reach that peak experience, and know if we want to share it or not, because both decisions are respectable.”.

It belongs to everyone

Alejandro Salas considers that Sexuality should not be considered as something that is only linked to a stage, and then disappears, or that only certain people can enjoy. Each age has its peculiarities, which can be faced as a way of experiencing it.

“Sexuality takes place throughout life, and at each stage it can be experienced differently. It is necessary to emphasize that it goes beyond genitality, and only ends when life ends. Of course, it is important to know what powers you have, to maintain healthy expectations, because at certain ages you advance and there are things that cannot be done, as they are done when we are young. But this is also an opportunity, because stopping doing what has already been done allows us to explore other new ways of living sexuality.”.

This, he considers, is important to highlight for older adults and for people with disabilities, who are also sexual beings and have the right to enjoy their sexuality:

“You also have to think about if I have that enjoyment, why shouldn’t other people have it. But we must understand that the paradigm shift is something that happens gradually.”.