Being a single mother with a child with a disability is a titanic task.

For María Teresa Rosado Balleza, every day is a challenge as a single mother of three children, one of whom has intellectual disabilities and Asperger syndrome. Her routine must be combined with her work as a professional and main breadwinner at home.

It is very difficult to be a single mother, and even more so if you have a child with a disability; We are never prepared to know how to react, how to take care of him and protect him,” María Teresa told Excélsior, who also faced physical and emotional violence from the father of her children, from whom she separated in 2006. “Despite this hard road, Being a mother is a blessing, a commitment and a great responsibility, and I love being a mother,” said María Teresa, who also works as an accountant, psychologist and teacher. She is 49 years old and is the mother of Héctor, 24, and Leslie, 21, and Valeria, 19.

At 24 years old, María Teresa had her first son, Héctor, who was born prematurely at 7 months in a complicated birth and was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder-Asperger syndrome and mild intellectual disability; However, the doctors assured that he was in perfect condition, “which was a lie,” Teresa said, since his growth was not normal.

Today, Héctor is 24 years old and requires constant supervision. “You have to repeat his basic activities every day; for example, he can put his shoes on backwards and he can wear them all day, or his clothes backwards,” he said.

My husband, upon learning our son’s diagnosis, did not believe it and blamed me, he became desperate with him, he had no patience with him, he said that I did not know how to educate him and that by spoiling him he could not do even the basic things. “In 2006 I got divorced because the father of my children began to physically and emotionally violate me, up to the point of beating me that sent me to the hospital and at that moment I filed for a necessary divorce. There I felt like I was falling into a void; I felt alone , but my children and my family gave me that strength that drives me to continue the battle,” said María Teresa, who for years has also struggled to find a suitable school for Héctor.

“Being a single mother with a child with a disability is a titanic task, since no one teaches us what care we should take, and this is aggravated by the lack of schools and hospitals that care for these people with disabilities, and those that exist are very expensive. Some public schools only provide support after high school with a trade and there is nothing for adults, which is why we resort to private schools. Psychiatric medications are also very expensive, we have to accompany our children everywhere and that means transportation. We cannot leave them alone and in other cases pay to take them and the fees of psychiatrists, psychologists and medical specialists are high,” he said.

Teresa Rosado Balleza stressed that her biggest concern is that one day she will be absent, so today she takes care of herself and is teaching Héctor to do his basic tasks, such as cooking something simple, taking public transportation, washing his clothes and giving change. since he plans to open a rotisserie so that his son can work in customer service and he has done simulations of how he will do it. Fortunately, she has the support of his two daughters and her family who, at some point when he is gone, will continue to support him.

To new single mothers who have children with disabilities, I say that, although it may seem like the end of the world, this is the beginning of a life full of satisfaction. The first step is not to blame ourselves, to accept that our child has a condition and we must work through that grief, get up and get busy making them as self-sufficient as possible. Let’s not worry so much about the future, let’s live with them in the present and be grateful that we are special moms, that we have angels in our lives and that is incredible because over time we become tireless, strong, creative, everything to be able to care for and protect our children,” he added.